Free Jazz: The Musical

from Dekalaug 5: 5 & Dime by Young Southpaw

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Episode 41 of The Young Southpaw Part Of An Hour

Featuring the hit single ‘How Do You Solve A Puzzle Like Ornette Coleman?’ Are Vince Clarke & Alison Moyet involved? And were Bauhaus the first synthpop free jazz band? (No. How could they be?)

Taking in The Damned, The Sound Of Music, The Black Crowes, T.S. Eliot, The Jam, Bela Lugosi, and much more


Now... this is bizarre man...we had a huge power outage during a storm recently and finally, when the lights came back on...there was a note on the table...that simply read...Free Jazz: The Musical... I had left the note to myself before the power went out...but..ya know....what if...during that power outage, I mean I wasn’t in the same room the entire time, what if someone snuck in and replaced it with an exact copy of that same note...

...phooooooo..........I mean...there’s like a lot of implications, it would mean that someone has the original..well, my original..Free Jazz: The Musical note...but also that someone could have been coming to give me a note that read...Free Jazz: The Musical...

....I’m not sure what own personal gain?...or...maybe they just needed to hide it from their pursuers, ya know? which case maybe I shouldn’t be mentioning it on this podcast...but too late, the information is now out there, a gift to the woooooorld ya know?

besides it could be that someone besides myself wanted me to have this idea...ya know?...I mean I also wanted myself to have this idea, that’s why I left the note in the first place...cause it’s not like they left me contact info ya know ‘get in touch and we’ll make Free Jazz: The Musical together’ ya know?...I don’t think it was a renegade financial backer who was like this is gonna be the next big thang...we need Young Southpaw I mean he’s always wanted to learn to play the bass clarinet...

so it’s crazy, I mean who knows what happened during that black out? Ya know, The Damned had that song ‘Wait For The Blackout’...imagine if their chorus was like ‘let’s wait for the blackout so that Free Jazz: The Musical could come to life’?...I mean that wouldn’t really jive with the genres they were working in on The Black Album but...I love that record, so I’m not gonna say anything against it or them...if they want Free Jazz: The Musical to happen...I am happy to work on it with The Damned...

but ya know...I mean much like the very world we live in, we can’t really say for sure what the origins of Free Jazz: The Musical are...I mean of course I’d like to claim authorship but phew, that’s a lot of power...

and like...I matter how it came to me...I’ve hit upon...a moneymaker...ya know like that old blues song, Shake Yr Money Maker...Elmore James, you know...and that first Black Crowes album no way am I suggesting that The Black Crowes are free jazz...or if they are, I must have been wildly misinformed about this type of music

I mean I hope that doesn’t disqualify me from producing this surefire hit...

I mean so many people, their issue with free jazz is that it’s just noise...but imagine writing some quality tunes around it ya know, in the style of...Annie...or Grease...I think Phantom Of The Opera would confuse the issue ya know...unless it was like free jazz fusion....the Musical....but you could have ya know like How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?, well How Do You Solve A Problem Like Ornette Coleman? not that he’s a problem, but it took me a long time to begin to understand what he’s doin’, so How Do You Solve A Puzzle Like Ornette Coleman? There ya go! We got the opening number written already!....alright, maybe some of you are sayin’ we just have a title, but...same number of syllables, maybe we can just set it to the tune of...How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?....then you got ‘Maria’ from West Side Story, is that the problem they were talking about...that tune? I mean Sound Of Music came out after West Side Story...takin thing further East no less, to Germany

And then there’s Cats....people say ‘cats’ when talkin’ about jazz musicians...we’re on a roll...though wait a minute, I’ve never actually seen the musical’s not already about free jazz, is it? I know it’s based on that T.S. Eliot play...Old Possum’s Book Of Practical Cats...this doesn’t really sound like a play about exploring the multiple modalities and tonalities inherent in free jazz...I’m not sure any of Eliot’s work does...The Wasteland...though I mean that would make a good metal musical, right? Or like the story of The Jam? they had that tune Wasteland...maybe combine the alternate timeline where The Jam were part of the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal...have the character of Old Possum be in at the very beginning of the show he gets slain by some hot licks, or rather it just looks like he gets slain, the audience doesn’t know, then he plays dead for the rest of the proceedings, until the encore of course...when he arises as the greatest guitar hero ever to walk the earth...

or like The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock...well, I mean that sounds like a Cure tune...

there are many ways this could go....

well wait a second...I know I said using Phantom Of The Opera might be confusing...but Phantom Of The Free Jazz has a real nice ring to it...the double F sound, fortissimo ya know

aw man, I hope like once you get investors involved it won’t totally be just like another musical, no free jazz in it at all, just maybe like the subject matter of one or two songs

Rent...never saw that one.....but they could cover that Pet Shop Boys song Rent, why not? bring synthpop and free jazz together, what the world’s been waiting for, heck even do a free jazz synthpop version of that Stone Roses song...

and like ya know how I was saying about The Sound Of Music...took place in Germany...but like in Germany....or any of the places that have the, the soft with they pronounce it...yazz?....ya know like the Vince Clarke Alison Moyet band?!...Only You! I’m gonna start cryin’...I mean that might be good to have as a plot in Free Jazz: The Musical...some sort of love interest..investors will want that...

Don’t Go, Situation, all those...Too Pieces, t-o-o ya know, that was always my favourite Yaz song...grammatically that’s a bit like free jazz...

or Free Yaaaaaaazzzzzz: The Musical....Vince Clarke & Alison Moyet are arrested for a crime they did not commit...pop crimes, ya know like that Rowland S Howard album...

well now we got, we got two separate musicals!....UNLESS! that note I found after the storm was meant to be pronounced like a German speaker would say it!...woo!

I mean Upstairs At Eric’s sounds like it could be a jazz club... maybe it’s the same theatre production after all

Though I mean like synthesizers don’t really swing, they can be pretty straight - and you gotta swing it in jazz, swing the heartache ya know? Bauhaus...back to The Sound Of Music again, no wait that’s Joy Division, back to Germany at least, though Bauhaus are from Northampton, England, anyway you know what I mean....were Bauhaus the first synthpop free jazz band? I mean, I gotta tell ya, I don’t hear it... their songs don’t sound anything like that...David J on the fretless bass, alright I can see the argument there...Bela Lugosi’s Dead ya know...but then like the punks were always sayin’ Punk’s Not Dead, around the same time...why wasn’t it Bela Lugosi’s Not Dead...woah! If I had a punk band, I would release an album called...well, actually there should be a whole style of music called Bela Lugosi...make more sense that way...

Love & Rockets, Tones On Tail...I mean none of these were jazz bands in the strictest sense of the word...nor were they definition they weren’t Yaz, that was a whole other act...

And Yaz were known as Yazoo in the UK...which always confuses me cause it sounds like ka-zoo...which kinda mocks the sound a synthesizer makes ... and as conceptual an idea as it is, I’m not sure those songs would have benefited from having all the parts being played on kazoos...that’s something that would happen in a Tommy P novel!

but in this style of music known as Bela Lugosi, I mean are there kazoo parts? are kazoos the prominent instrument? Jazz-oo ya know

I mean maybe Free Jazz: The Musical subtitle Bela Lugosi’s Not Dead....well T.S. Eliot totally could have written this!


from Dekalaug 5: 5 & Dime, released November 12, 2020


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Young Southpaw Connecticut

"From the existential thread that ties Jean-Paul Sartre to Jon Bon Jovi, to the skinny on what’s floating in TLC’s ‘Waterfalls’, and the possibility that Al Pacino is coaching boxing kangaroos in space, wise-fool Southpaw's ramblings lead listeners on a surreal journey through doors they didn't even know existed, into a highly original, deeply funny land of pop culture confusion." - popbollocks ... more

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