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Humpty Dumpty In HD

by Young Southpaw

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So yeah

Who is this cat, Humpty Dumpty?

Why is he portrayed as an egg, ya know?

Cause it’s easy ta break?

But that doesn’t even make any sense, I mean why would - why would horses be tryin’ to put an egg back together in the first place

Horses don’t even lay eggs

Closest you’d come is like

Like a platypus maybe

And that’s a semi-aquatic creature with a duckbill

Not very close at all

And you assume an egg breaks, there’s like so many little cracks and whatnot, you can’t be puttin’ it back together, I mean tryin’ to get that yolk and all the other stuff back insiiiiide ya know

It’s jus crazy

And why was he so important to the King

I mean what type of kings are givin’ eggs vital roles in their ruling of the realms?

And why has this King-Egg relationship...been carried down thru the years so that...Digital Underground was writin’ songs about ‘em?

Gettin’ busy in a Burger King bathroom ya know

Break real easy doin’ that

And you can’t bring eggs into a BK bathroom then expect to eat em

Even with breakfast sandwiches bein’ what they are these days

And does Burger King haaaa ve horses?

I think that’s a question I don’t want answered

But I mean I guess if he’s sittin’ on a waaaaallll ya know
ya know like that, Screamin’ At A Wall that Minor Threat song

I mean this is so much more than a minor threat, with bein’ with bein’ the King bein’ involved

Ol Humpty’s gonna fall off no one’s gonna put him back together again

I mean maybe he was just listenin’ ta Jump ya know

Van Halen’s Jump as if I have ta clarify

I mean wuh-maybe he just got too excited, I mean we’ve all been there

I mean that’s a dar- wait well NO that, that’s another question I don’t want answered

Humpty Dumpty had a great faaaallllll ya know

I mean people were around to judge his descent but not to catch him?

Seems highly suspicious ta me....political intrigue at its best

Or maybe they just meant the au-tumn ya know like, he had like a nice Thanksgiving meeeaallll ya know thankful that he survived

He had got all dressed up for Halloween as if it were Easter all over again

He and his friends goin’ out as a bunch a clowns you know how they, register their make-up ya know their very identity...on eggs like that

like that episode of The Avengers with John Cleese where ya know he’s the one in charge of that sort of thang...oh it sounds like a blast

I mean how did it get to the point now...where old Humpty’s perched up on a wall, ready ta jump?

Or maybe...it’s like..super-meta...and he’s referin’ to both the autumn and the fall itself

Old Humpty’s dressed up like Rodney Dangerfield in Back To School ya know and he’s attemptin’ the ol’ Triple Lindy diiiive ya know offa that wall and this nursery rhyme bein written, centuries before that, turns out to be the very, Nostradamus of nursery rhymes

Or maybe...like spiritually...he was..was so transformed...that like the King, maybe it’s a tale of oppression ya know?

All the King’s horses and all the King’s men, couldn’t put him back together again cause like, his light was just shinin’, so vasssst that they couldn’t contain him like they wanted to?

Maybe there was no actual wall either like, like ya know it’s a METAPHOR!

Are there?




Any at all you know?...speakin’..spiritually

They’re just therrre to give us opportunities to find solutions ya know things we have ta break dowwwwn, break on thru to the otha siiiide ya know I, I mean

If there are doors or, ya know even just one! ya know I mean you don’t have to break anything ya just open the door and walk on thru

Or go over the wall ya know like that Echo & The Bunnymen song..onnah Woo!

We...we got Bunnymen and, King’s men and horses, well well dancin’ horses of course

Echo & The King’s Horses now that would be a great band name...dancin’ implied

Or Humpty & The Bunnymen

And then they went on to inspire The Snozz ya know to write that Digital Underground song ya know the spirit of Humpty Dumpty, all in HD!

And Humpty Dumpty was in Through The Looking Glass

All talkin’ to Alice

I mean an egg lookin’ at itself in a mirror has to be the most, terrifyin’ thing ever, ya know

contemplatin’ goin’ thru to the other siiide, provided there are no doors in the picture...well first it looks like you gotta collide with a whole otha egg...who looks remarkably like you!

Run the risk a both a ya smashin’ and then the mirror image is, showin’ an infinite mess to be cleaned up!

The King doesn’t have the tiiime nor the personnelll to deal with such a job

But maybe it was sposed to be.. Humphrey....Dumpty...I mean imagine if Humphrey Bogart played Mr. Humphries on Are You Being Served....that woulda been crazy!

Or if one a them was lookin’ in the mirrorrrrr and saw the other reflectin’ back at him

bein’ served up a fright....at point blank range

Casablanca ya know blanca ya know wh-white like an egg

lookin’ in the mirrorrrr see the whole house - casa you know...well it’s been a while since I saw Casablanca, am I...am I gettin’ it confuuused with that Avengers episode?

Was Casablanca about a department store where..clowns go to register their make-up?

I mean it sounds reasonable, I’d watch that

Specially if the egggggs on which the face paint is registered...started committin’ suicide by jumpin’ off walls

I mean is this what that Michael Jackson album is about ya know Don’t Stop Til Ya Get Enough

But in fact the department is so overcrowded that, some of these clown eggs are, takin’ it upon themselves ta, plummet to the ground just ta make more room

Such selfless acts a service, ya know it’s heartbreakin’

But then does that kill the clown in real life?

That’s heartbreakin’ and terrifyin’


released July 27, 2021
Words: Young Southpaw
Music: Bobby Barry

Written by Aug Stone & Bobby Barry
Vocals recorded by Sam Carlson at Sans Serif Rec.
Mixed by Chris Ewen
Mastered by Scott Craggs at Old Colony Mastering

Illustration by Yulia Lapko

Thanks to Patrick Rands for the inspiration to put Southpaw to music, Jo Bevan, Michael Gill, and Jim Psarras


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Young Southpaw Connecticut

"From the existential thread that ties Jean-Paul Sartre to Jon Bon Jovi, to the skinny on what’s floating in TLC’s ‘Waterfalls’, and the possibility that Al Pacino is coaching boxing kangaroos in space, wise-fool Southpaw's ramblings lead listeners on a surreal journey through doors they didn't even know existed, into a highly original, deeply funny land of pop culture confusion." - popbollocks ... more

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