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Loopy Lou P

from Dekalaug 6: 5160 by Young Southpaw

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Episode 56 of The Young Southpaw Part Of An Hour

Was Louis Pasteur an alias? Is the perfect place to write songs the back half of a pantomime cow? And who would make the best time-traveling yogurt salesman?

Taking in Lenny Kravitz, James Bond, Yogi Berra, Yogi Bear, Henry Rollins, Halle Berry, Chuck Berry, The Dukes Of Hazzard, and much more

lyrics

It’s weird that the process of pasteurization.......had nothing to do with cows, ya know....who are out in the pastures.......woo!..blows my mind ya know....I mean Louis Pasteur?.... that’s way too much of a coincidence...was that like...an alias?...ya know... how like Englebert Humperdinck’s real name is Arnold Dorsey....or Cary Grant was born Archibald Leach....he coulda opened a bait shop....or an alternative medicine practice....or combined the two!....

but ol’ Lou-ey chose Pasteur so he could get that cow connection...the double C ya know....like CC Deville...but his whole thang is like the opposite of Poison... so like why would he be using an alias??.........was he a spy?....what do spies have to do with the process of pasteurization... is James Bond then just an allegory for the dairy industry?...was the character of Mathis, ya know of the French Secret Service, the Deuxieme Bureau, based on Louis Pasteur’s exploits?.....maybe he’d go around incognito as half of a pantomime cow........front part of course...he needs to be able to see what’s going on...but then like who’s the mystery man in the back...

pastures...fields...was it...........Lenny Kravitz?............the two of them just sidling up to some scientist’s laboratory window, no one’s gonna suspect a cow just standing there chewing some cud...but really Pasteur’s relaying all sorts of valuable information back to Kravitz who’s writing it all down ya know....in the notebooks next to his lyrics....I’ve heard that the back half of a pantomime cow is the perfect place to write songs you know....

this could lead to some trouble if like other scientists are working on the process of pasteurization and want some milk to experiment with and they go to try and get it from this cow that’s half Louis, half Lenny!

or maybe this whole pantomime cow thing never happened...I mean I’ve heard crazier stories than a pantomime cow not being involved in the discovery of pasteurization...and like we’re back to a lone gunman theory again...or should I say axeman?!

cause what if Louis Pasteur is really just Lenny Kravitz in disguise?!.... he time traveled back to 19th century France to invent pasteurization...though I mean I guess you gotta wonder..why would he do such a thing?... time travel certainly adds a whole other element to Are You Gonna Go My Way.............’I was born long ago’...very first line you know!....or maybe he and Louis Pasteur were contemporaries back then.....rivals even....and like despite them both working hard in the lab, day and night, Pasteur gets to pasteurization first!...which...mighta been known as... Kravitz-ih-ti-zation.............I guess... if it had gone the other way?.....but Kravitz wasn’t gonna be outdone...oh no! It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over ya know?....he decides he’s gonna go vegan and propel himself into the late 20th century, become a rock star!....top that, Pasteur

but even there he can’t escape ol Louie you know...it’s like he’s taunting him from the past...teur...... ya know with Louie Louie always playin on the radio...and in Animal House...countless other films too...and it’s by The Kingsmen.. Loueys were the kings of France!....got beheaded but ya know, that’s an occupational hazard...woah! imagine if The Dukes Of Hazzard was really about Louis Pasteur and Lenny Kravitz time-traveling around selling dairy products out the back of the General Lee...be complicated ya know...maybe they could repaint it ...cause like Black Flag did that cover of Louie Louie too...get Rollins in on this!

and it’s weird cause Louis Pasteur was born in Dole, France...I mean why wasn’t he working with, with pineapples?....seems a more reasonable thing to be selling out the back of a car with no refrigeration...I mean with dairy products you’d have to keep the AC on all the time..full blast too....or heck, maybe compromise and make a nice pineapple yogurt...

you know who I always thought woulda made a great yogurt salesman....with or without the General Lee....well Yogi Berra of course!....and yes, I know, not pineapple yogurt...obviously he’s gonna be doing the berry rounds......bloobs you know...strawbs...rasps...gooseberries blackberries goji berries....and like Goji Berry, Yogi Berra...that almost rhymes!.... Goji Berry Berra ya know...get Chuck Berry to write some jingles for it!....heck Halle Berry too...she was in a Bond film, Die Another Day in the Artic, cold enough up there to not keep the A/C on all the time...

but Yogi Berra..ya know...woo!..that guy had a lot going on...I’ve always wondered... does he have an opposite, a counterpart, who is like... a yoga instructor?...named like Baseball Player Berra......WHO ALSO........... HAS A CARTOON NAMED AFTER HIM?...I mean did that cartoon bear do yoga? do bears do yoga?!...I mean like I said Joy Division’s ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ woulda made more sense as ‘Bears Will Tear Us Apart’ - it’s got the internal rhyme in there too - but like they could tear you apart quicker cause they’re in such good shape from their sun salutations and warrior poses....but then again yoga is a non-violent tradition..........but what about Boo Boo then?

I tell ya though man, a show with Lenny Kravitz, Yogi Berra, and Louis Pasteur all chasing each other through time!...trying to steal each other’s inventions....with a soundtrack by Chuck Berry and Henry Rollins....that would be wild!....and with two cartoon bears at a rival yogurt company thrown into the mix....woo!

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from Dekalaug 6: 5160, released May 31, 2021

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Young Southpaw Connecticut

"From the existential thread that ties Jean-Paul Sartre to Jon Bon Jovi, to the skinny on what’s floating in TLC’s ‘Waterfalls’, and the possibility that Al Pacino is coaching boxing kangaroos in space, wise-fool Southpaw's ramblings lead listeners on a surreal journey through doors they didn't even know existed, into a highly original, deeply funny land of pop culture confusion." - popbollocks ... more

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