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Orwell's Funny Farm

from Dekalaug 6: 5160 by Young Southpaw

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Episode 51 of The Young Southpaw Part Of An Hour

What if George Orwell had written Buffy The Vampire Slayer and added Robert Palmer, Jon Bon Jovi, and Chevy Chase to the cast?

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I always found it weird that George Orwell...wrote Funny Farm..ya know.....that Chevy Chase movie where he and Madolyn Smith move to Vermont so he can write a novel...just like Orwell was doing ya know....I mean I’ve pointed out before that Orwell was more of a seafaring man, or at least so his name implies, so heading to Vermont - famous for its lack of ports - well, you see what I’m saying... but again, it’s just a movie, fiction ya know, can do anything....though..woo...Orwell wasn’t his real name, so I mean he must’ve loved the sea...I guess you can row through rivers and lakes too but...wooo, this is problematic...but anyway, real name Eric Blair...I mean I wish they had cast Blair from The Facts Of Life in more of the movie adaptations of his books ya know....heck, Natalie, Tuti, & Jo too!...Mrs. Garrett, she could easily run an inn in Vermont...taking care of the Drummond boys as well!

the thing about Funny Farm was..I used to be a huuuuuuuge Sarah Michelle Gellar fan..back in the day ya know...would check smgfan.com on the reg...and I saw that she was in that movie...I mean the internet still claims this!...and I had gone to see Funny Farm when it came out in 88, didn’t remember her at all... so I rented it again, watched it twice!... but I could see hide nor hair of her...

and it was weird too, cause you’d think with Buffy...well in hindsight at least...you’d think..Funny Faaaaaaarrrrmmm ya know..have it be about bats, and she’s still a Vampire Slayer...heck have Funny Farm as Buffy’s origin story...I know on a farm bats aren’t really the animals.... Animal Farm..that’s the Orwell book

anyway, my point still stands, ya know....have it be about the bats and Sarah Michelle Gellar on this farm...some of the bats are just regular ones ya know...hanging ten, upside dowwwwn....but as we come to learn, others....are actually vampires...there’s your plot right there...that’s the mystery of it all...ya can’t just going killing all the bats... I guess like some of these vampires could be stand-up comedians, hence the name Funny Farm...be a great vehicle for the up and coming comics of the day...back in 88..

It’s weird...ya don’t really have rats on a farm either...well not intentionally...or AT-Ats from..Empire Strikes Back...be too cold on Hoth ...to farm at least...how did those rebels eat?!....you do have cats on farms, ya know hi-ho the derry-oh...so I guess - like anything - this is a mixed bag...a mixed bag of Ats!

it’s weird too with like Farm..and Firm...just one letter off, A I woah...Artificial Intelligence maybe they will become one and the same thing...but like...farms you think of outdoors, organic matter, nature ya know...firrrrmmm...put you in mind of offices, right?...all stuffy, cubicles, hangnails...people wanting to get..outdoors...just to breathe...or Firm like that Jimmy Page supergroup ya know...from the 80s...and Zeppelin recorded at farmhouses so he’s covering everything there...

it’s also weird cause firms are groups of people but like..they can’t use the old saying ‘there is no I in firm’... cause it’s right there ya know...it’s one of the 4 le- it’s 25% of the word......I’m surprised they didn’t - well, if they spelled it differently, like F-E-R-M..pronounced the same way but ya know...there’s a ‘me’ in there, the M and the E..I know it’s backwards but it’s still 50% of the word, ya can’t argue with statistics like that.......FORM is something different...but FURM again spelling it with a U, well U & I are completely different, there are no U & I in TEAM... no matter what form that team takes...and besides, most team sports are played outside, like on a farm...and Chevy Chase was a sportswriter in that film, remember?

Football, all versions, baseball, volleyball - bringing it back to Buffy...Spike ya know...well, a spike is something different on a farm...a Willow too!

Dawn ya know...farmers getting up at the crack of.....and Seth Green’s character was named Ozzzz... he musta been a shoe-in for the role!... like the Emerald City from The Wizard Of ya know...and you got the Scarecrow...bringing it back to the farm...

and then what grows on a farm, there’s that magical food movie Sarah Michelle Gellar was in, Simply Irresistible, which I was hoping would be about her time in Robert Palmer’s backing band...heck, he shoulda been a guest on Buffy, like a detective ya know...Lookin For Cluuuuuuues

I imagine if Orwell had written Buffy The Vampire Slayer, I mean that woulda been...heck using his real name for The Eric Blair Witch Project..coulda brought the two together and become one of the early great supernatural thriller writers...Keep The Apidistra Flying?....sounds like a sci-fi novel right there....giant plants from outer space...descend on Wigan Pier...

I mean was Funny Farm the sequel to Down And Out In Paris And London, they wanna get outta the city ya know...oh yeah, he didn’t write Funny Farm..

...well I wonder if he didn’t write it cause he was going with this sci-fi angle, wanted to be taken seriously as a novelist....

shame though....they were in Redbud, VT in Funny Farm... Rosebud ya know...coulda been his Citizen Kane

they wanted the town to be like Norman Rockwell paintings - I mean did Rockwell have a band?.... like Jovi ya know, did he rock them all - well....

I guess he wasn’t really a cowboy...but I bet they have those steel horses in Vermont, ya know the bucking broncos ya ride at bars....

I mean Jovi shoulda been in Buffy too, like he was in Ally McBeal...playing a villain so he don’t get typecast...there’s some Bad Medicine going around the town...Robert Palmer is called in to look for clues...heck why not bring Chevy Chase into it too, reprising his role of Andy Farmer in Funny Farm...I mean he wouldn’t have to eat sheep testicles again...I can’t see that being part of the plot...unless like ya know Robert Palmer insists that Chase’s character is addicted to those...’might as well face it’ ya know...’might as well Jump’...I know y’all thought I was gonna bring 1984 into this with Orwell so there ya go!

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from Dekalaug 6: 5160, released May 31, 2021

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Young Southpaw Connecticut

"From the existential thread that ties Jean-Paul Sartre to Jon Bon Jovi, to the skinny on what’s floating in TLC’s ‘Waterfalls’, and the possibility that Al Pacino is coaching boxing kangaroos in space, wise-fool Southpaw's ramblings lead listeners on a surreal journey through doors they didn't even know existed, into a highly original, deeply funny land of pop culture confusion." - popbollocks ... more

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