Starchildren

from Dekalaug 4: 4th & Ten by Young Southpaw

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I was on a big KISS kick - nice double KK there, like K.K. Downing ya know...I mean what would his make-up have been like if he had ever joined KISS? Woo! I mean that cyclone on the cover of Turbo, that would make raddddd face paint! Ya know? In fact, call him ‘The Cyclone’, lightning fast fingers ya know..or like The Cyclone Kid... or maybe Cyclone Cyclops - the eye of the stoooorm, ya know, paint an eye like where Vinnie Vincent’s ankh was, ya know the third eye point...I’m not suggesting he also join Third Eye Blind...I mean in addition to Judas Priest and KISS, that’d be a hectic schedule...even for The Cyclone


So I mean yeah, I was on a KISS kick, and of course I’m always like on a Parliament Funkadelic kick and it just hit me...concurrently...during the 1970’s...there was The Starchild AKA Paul Stanley of rock legends KISS of course....and there was also Garry Shider of the megaforce P-Funk...also known as The Starchild....and both...were on Casablanca Records!....I mean woah! Talk about a Mothership Connection!...I mean Casablanca, White House...I’ve always said George Clinton should be President...and imagine if Bernie Worrell was the piano player at Rick’s gin joint... Funky Blanca...Casa Funk...I mean I hadn’t thought there were ways you could improve that movie, but now we’re talking...

and like once you start to look closer you know...woo! crazy stuff...like in the song ‘Star Child’ ya know Mothership Connection - and woah! like ya know how Ace covered ‘New York Groove’ on his 1978 solo album? Well how rad would it have been if Paul covered that P-Funk song?! - but like in that tune he says ‘we have returned to claim the pyramids’ and then like KISS starts using all this Egyptian imagery in the 80s, Vinnie Vincent’s makeup as we said before, the Hot In The Shade album cover with the sphinx with the sunglasses you know...I mean what else could the sphinx be in the shade of if not the mothership?...I mean heck even the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame is pyramid-shaped...I mean can imagine the stage show if Kiss and P-Funk combined forces...Starchild squared, ya know

And then like, I know I’ve been talking about Joy Division a lot lately, something in the Atmosphere you know...but in 1995 Virgin Records put out that A Means To An End tribute album...and there was a band on there called starchildren! Who just happened to be a project of Billy Corgan’s from Smashing Pumpkins...and it’s weird they choose Isolation as their cover...ya know as we’ve just seen, the Star Childs were two not but one...ah, that woulda been crazy if there was another Star Child in the Spice Girls...I mean maybe when time travel is invented we can go back and talk Emma Bunton into it ya know...but I mean not only were there two Star Childs, they were playing to tens of thousands of peoples every night! In no way could you call that Isolation

and I mean it’s just odd, ya know - does Billy Corgan think Joy Division was a KISS and P-Funk cover band? And absolutely no one in the music industry set him straight?

I mean you can kinda see it though, ‘C’mon And Love Me’ could just as easily be ‘C’mon And Tear Me Apart’...’New Dawn Fades’ ya know, I mean that’s when you’d need a Flashlight...Twenty Four Hours ya know - well, Rock N Roll All Night And Party Everyday...Mothership Connection itself says Ain’t Nothin But A Party Y’all...

this all started cause I was listening to the audiobook of Paul Stanley’s autobiography ya know, Face The Music...good title...and then like New Order had that song Face Up, one of my faves too, even with the grammarbomb ‘your eyes was blue’...but like what if New Order, whenever they played that song live, like did it as an encore, and came back out in full KISS make-up, that’d be rad...

But I also got to researchin’ cause, and I’ve talked about this elsewhere lately, after talking to David Ryder Prangley on the other podcast, the ETC one, I went back with a friend of mine, the VOL, and we revisited the KISS solo albums...and I mean Gene’s Radioactive has always been my favourite tune from those...and like Peter Criss’ woah, and that was the third KISS related album The VOL ever bought when he was but a young un, and we realized that like much like the prohibitions against studying Kabbalah, that Peter Criss record can’t really be fully understood by anyone under the age of 40...and like Paul’s, some great tunes on there, It’s Alright and Wouldn’t You Like To Know Me, woo!...

but like in my Googling of Paul Stanley 1978 solo album...I saw a very distressing image...which was... him...with different make up...not the Star Child we all know...but apparently, at the beginning of their career that Casablanca asked him to try out a different design, something more symmetrical like the rest of the band had...and he came up with The Bandit...which kinda...looks like a raccoon, or I guess some say like the Lone Ranger, not the Lone Night Ranger, though I guess raccoons are actually night rangers...phoo, this is tricky...and like The Bandit make-up is cool and all but it’s no Star Child...

but like ya know how Paul Stanley has that soul band nowadays, Soul Station, prolly where the Mothership docks and he says it’s cause he grew up listening to all that stuff and like he just put a video out in May of them doing Ooo Baby Baby by Smokey & The Miracles...I mean you see where this is going, right?...what if he kept The Bandit makeup back then for a side project with Smokey Robinson?!...Smokey & The Bandit!...Get Burt Reynolds and Jerry Reed in it too for the ultimate supergroup! woo!...that film came out in 1977! Same year as Star Wars...Star Wars, Star Child...he coulda had everything covered that year, all the bases...The Rebel base, coulda switched instruments with Gene for a couple songs, heck The Bad News Bears had just come out the year before, coulda bought the franchise and made it into the Bad News Raccoons...have it be yet another Burt Reynolds sports film...but with KISS too - The Phantom Of The Baseball Park!...though like Bad News Bandits has a much nicer ring too it...the alliteration ya know...and you got Smokey Robinson is like the pitcher for The Miracles who are at the bottom of the league the whole season but then like as is inherent in their name...the Miracles start happening...they end up winning the pennant, defeating of course these Bad News Bandits, also inherent in their name...simple as that...then have Terry Gilliam make Time Bandits as the sequel...like I say, simple as that

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from Dekalaug 4: 4th & Ten, released August 19, 2020

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Young Southpaw Connecticut

"From the existential thread that ties Jean-Paul Sartre to Jon Bon Jovi, to the skinny on what’s floating in TLC’s ‘Waterfalls’, and the possibility that Al Pacino is coaching boxing kangaroos in space, wise-fool Southpaw's ramblings lead listeners on a surreal journey through doors they didn't even know existed, into a highly original, deeply funny land of pop culture confusion." - popbollocks ... more

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