Ya know that song, It Might As Well Rain Until September, ya know? But I mean, what if it’s October 1st and September’s just passed and you’re sayin’ it’s ok to rain for an entire year...that’s crazy...and ya know as Axl pointed out, that rain gets cold in November...I mean I guess that song was a warning disguised as a love song, a secret plea to those who are inclined to be so willy-nilly about the weather like that...and Blind Melon, despite needing the precipitation for that melon to grow took up a rather hardline stance against this kind of thing
And that song It’s Raining Men, imagine if the two were combined...I know It’s Raining Men is a real positive happy song, people love to dance to it, but it also sounds to me like one of the biblical plagues...frogs, locusts, ya know, just men coming from the sky...and who knows what type of men they are? could be armed marauders...or those with ideas for a jam band where they’re just banging on bowls of jam, on the jam itself ya know, to be authentic..get that kind of splishy, jiggly sound...and there’s so many of them dropping from the sky the record companies are trying to get them to be in one almighty band together so as to eliminate saturating the market with rivalries...all this despite what a nightmare touring would be...
I don’t know if jam bands were around back then, certainly aren’t mentioned the book of Exodus...but I mean like imagine if that thrash band Exodus – ya know, Toxic Waltz, Last Act Of Defiance, all that – imagine if they covered It’s Raining Men...I mean that’d be crazy...ya know they say stranger things have happened, that’s an expression, but I can’t imagine anything stranger than Exodus covering It’s Raining Men...straaaaange raaaain, that’s got kind of a nice sound to it ya know...
And you know it’s biblical, with the Hallelujah and the Amen
And like ya know if it’s the torrential downpour that the song suggests, why would anyone think these men are going to be in any sort of working order when they land – I imagine very few would ‘hit the ground running’ as Roth sings in Unchained, the finest rock song ever recorded – but like if these guys are falling from the skies, if they do land on their feet – and with the wind factor, that’s a big if – they’ll probably twist if not sprain or even break their ankles or maybe even their whole legs...and of course being thrown about in the sky like that, a good number will probably come down on their heads, knocking them unconscious..if they’re not already from cracking into other similar souls up there in the sky...and it’s like do you know how many raindrops there are in a storm?...if an equal number of men came down, there’s no way the Earth could sustain them...not enough housing or food...though I mean it could drive up album sales if they all just started buying records immediately, I’m not sayin’ this is a plot on the part of the record industry but I’m not not saying that either...get RATT back in the charts you know...and let’s not forget that in a storm lightning is a possibility, just picking dudes off left and right, their fried remains hitting the ground, well I guess it doesn’t matter how as they’ve already been electrocuted to death...unless some are riding the lightning as Metallica says...sky surfing...I mean is Metallica behind this?..and these are the puppets they were talking about on the next album?
and then you got Blackened being the first song on ...And Justice For all... I mean – as they say in the song – this is happening at half past ten at night..it’s dark out for goodness sake! and kinda late, people are tired, or stumblin’ around drunk...and with all this happening, of course they’d be at the Frayed Ends Of Sanity
and like getting back to Unchained, they better hit the ground running cause if not they’re gonna have a whole heap of bodies landing on them in seconds, in fact these bodies would be piling so high in a matter of minutes you prolly wouldn’t be able to see the sky anymore – I mean would that stop the rain? – though I guess these dudes would eventually be breaking their successors falls, so that the later ones could just walk down the heap of bodies to get to the earth – but where do they go? I guess Nelson dealt with this on their After The Rain of course...it’s all well and good being after, but there’s no practical advice for what to do while this storm is occurring!
And where are they all originating from? I mean did the Stones start this with Hey You Get Offa My Cloud? then Joni Mitchell picked up the mantle with that album...I mean is this where the phrase Cloud 9 comes from? The only safe place to be up in the sky, the only cloud you wouldn’t soon be ejected from and thrown to your likely death?!...and what about Hendrix’s If 6 Was 9, what was he up to there?
now It’s Raining Men came out in 1982, and it can’t be any coincidence that that same year Duran Duran released Hold Back The Rain, aside from everything else, they knew all those dudes would drown if they landed in the Rio Grande
and Tones On Tail formed in 1982 too – that’s 1982 also I guess, I’m not talking about 10,000 years in the future – and they had Burning Skies, and also Rain, not sure how else you’d reconcile the two but with the lightning-singed bodies of what The Weather Girls were talking about!
ya know what’s crazy too, is the producer Flood recorded that second Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds album, The Firstborn Is Dead, and the very first track on that is Tupelo, about the almighty storm that flooded the town back when Elvis was born, ‘say these streets are rivers, call these rivers streets’...I mean having Flood record that album, that’s just tempting fate
but as if that wasn’t enough, he produced Erasure’s Loveboat album, I mean taking a boat out in a flood, nevah knew they were such daredevils!, though I guess they did have Ship Of Fools.. but ya know going further they’ve got the song Cryin’ In The Rain on the Loveboat album too, cause why not add more water...I say that completely sarcastically, I don’t want the rains to carry me away
Then this chap Flood mixed Depeche Mode’s Delta Machine, I mean why would you chance it?!
But ya know what? Thinkin’ more about that whole November Rain No Rain thing, was that...was that another rivalry thing? like I was talking about on the Moon a few episodes back, but here on Earth...one that Blind Melon was tryin’ ta start?...I mean 1993 Year Of The Water Rooster too, what were they playin’ at, of course there’s gonna be rain...but look at the words, N-O spells ‘no’ but is also the first two letters of November?!...look at them just throwin’ down the gauntlet of whether roses or melons were gonna grow in the garden...or wait just a second!...with those titles being so similar...was it..a cover?!...a wildly interpretive one maybe, but a cover nonetheless...in which nothing about the original song remains...ya know, like jazz...and cleverly, disguising this even further, neither of the two songs sound even remotely like jazz...so well played I guess
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