I remember back in 1992 - ya know, the year after the year punk broke - well I was watchin an episode of 90210, and like Brenda comes back from Paris and gives Dylan a charm for his watch chain that reads “je t’aime, Brenda” ... and like I didn’t speak French, had no idea what it meant, but like because a watch tells time, and ‘t’aime’ kinda sounds like time...the two became equated in my mind...I mean I loved that Anthrax song Got The Time ya know....tick tick tickin’ in my head....alright, I know it’s a Joe Jackson song but I didn’t know the original back then...this was pre-internet days, long before you could be watching 90210 and just Google whatever questions you had about the band Anthrax...I did find it confusing however that she would be giving him something for his watch that had the word ‘time’ on it, like he might not know what said watch is for....I mean I know Dylan didn’t go to school all that much...I just remember him sitting up on the roof of his house...people would say he’d be reading Nietzsche..but I never saw it...

and like the KLF had just released ‘America: What Time Is Love’ the year before, you know...so obviously the two words are equated somehow...and the decision to re-record their anthem What Time Is Love and stick the word ‘America’ at the beginning points to them prophesying this whole 90210 episode!.....Brenda returning to the States after her summer in Paris...

and like she said it as ‘t’aime’ right as the screen showed the engraved words so I knew it was spelt t-a-i-m-e...but Brenda pronounced it completely differently than Taime Down, lead singer of Faster Pussycat you know...I mean, bizarrely, checking the dates now - when I can google things - that third Faster Pussycat album Whipped! came out August 4th, 1992 and the 90210 episode was shown a mere 15 days later, so something was definitely in the air...I mean there’s that song on that third Faster Pussycat record ‘she just loves me for my big dictionary’ - dictionary...Aaron and Tori Spelling you know...

I dug those first two Faster Pussycat albums - Shooting You Down - oh man, I just noticed Taime’s last name in there for the first time and like he’s singing it Shooting You comma Down like he’s addressing himself - see what happens when you hang in there for over 30 years.... but like Poison Ivy and House Of Pain were played quite a bit on MTV....this was pre the band House Of Pain and post the Van Halen song off 1984 of course....and Poison Ivy, I’m not implying that that third Faster Pussycat album sounds like what would happen if The Cramps and Van Halen merged into a supergroup - Van Cramps...Vamps Halen - what I’m trying to say is I remember later there was a 90210 retrospective and Luke Perry was talking about a scene he had to do with Shannen Doherty - ya know before she went on to form The Libertines - and they weren’t getting along and but they had to be sitting in a car together and she was holding a cat the entire time before the cameras rolled...I mean, talk about coincidence...

the strange thing about it is...that 90210...is not a time...there are not 210 minutes in the 9 o’clock hour...AM or PM...or any hour come to think of it...I mean 3 AM may be eternal but that’s a lot longer than 210 minutes...I think we had to solve that problem in high school math class...and as far as I know, Anthrax never played at the Peach Pit After Dark....maybe that’s for the best...I mean I would’ve been absolutely crushed if they did and Got The Time wasn’t in the set....

and like Cher lived in Beverly Hills ya know...I don’t think she ever stopped in at the Peach Pit either...be rad if she did If I Could Turn Back Time just as Brenda was giving Dylan the watch thing....cause like with a watch, she could literally turn back the time, that’s how watches work, there’s no ‘if’ involved, it’s a totally can do situation...I mean as far as I know...time travel was never addressed in 9-0...

I don’t think Iron Maiden’s Somewhere In Time album was either...

but woah!....imagine if Eddie made an appearance on an episode!....just shows up at the Beverly Beat offices...wants to sell his experiences about going to the Bahamas to record Piece Of Mind, Powerslave, and well at least the drums and bass of Somewhere In Time... to the paper for an exclusive story

or like woah!...the whole thing when Brenda was in Paris was that Dylan had started seeing Kelly...that’s why the whole Anthrax watch moment was so intense...but what if like to get back at Dylan...Brenda started dating Iron Maiden’s mascot?!....I mean Fear Of The Dark had just come out as well that year! you got a more skeletal Eddie hiding up in that tree on the cover...that would surely intimidate anyone...even Dylan McKay..and like I know Ian’s name is pronounced MacKaye...and there’s a couple extra letters there, again with the Spellings....but what if like then, escalating things...Dylan went and joined Fugazi!....woah...like Steve Sanders real name is I-an ....again I know pronounced a bit differently than you think but Ian/I-an and Mckaye/Mackaye right there in the characters and cast..?!....was 90210 some kind of bizarre tribute to Fugazi?...

Steady Diet Of Nothing...you can’t eat a peach pit.....Repeater, I mean obviously they were angling to get into syndication.....Red Medicine...Brian Austin Greeeeeeen you know...who played David Silver...Christmas colours, I mean they shoulda all gotten together to do a holiday album....Rockin Around The Bulldog Front....Rudolph The Red Nosed Smallpox Champion... I Saw Mommy Kissing The Glue Man....a medley of I’m Getting Nothin For Christmas and Merchandise...woo! that would blow minds!....and then you had Brandon and Brenda Walsh, who were twins....so maybe the show was originally conceived as The Eagles and Nelson forming a Fugazi cover band...

I mean maybe Kelly Taylor was supposed to join Duran Duran at some point...and they would all tour together...Duran opening for a Fugazi tribute act, that woulda been wild...

but Maiden’s Fear Of The Dark also had that song Childhood’s End which as the cast was heading into their senior year of high school in 1992, the year that album came out, is very much on the nose! Rudolph’s nose even... they’re all teenagers...so maybe the whole show was a nod to Minor Threat!